Over the years, I’ve come across several women who love their features—their curvy bodies, wide noses, slim frames, acne-prone skin, curly hair—proving that perfection doesn’t really exist. Despite the ever-pervasive practices of society that put pressure on young women to change their appearance to fit into a certain mold, it’s important to note that the very things that make us stand out are our so-called biggest “flaws.” This article is inspired by women who had struggled with acceptance in the past, but have come to terms with the defining features that make them beautiful and celebrated.
May their stories remind all women that they are beautiful in their own skin—scars, curves, imperfections, and all that. Happy Women's Month!
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Pinays celebrate their defining features
Isha and her curly hair
On her past struggle: “Growing up I would often get comments like ‘Ayaw mo ba magpa-rebond?’ or that I’d look prettier if I had straight hair. I almost gave in a few times and believed that I actually would look prettier with straight hair, but it was my mom who convinced me that curls are beautiful. My mom’s beauty and wanting to have curls like hers are what convinced me to take care of my curls more.”
Her advice to women struggling with the same insecurity: “What we often think are flaws is actually what makes us unique. Embrace your uniqueness. Rather than trying to hide or get rid of your curls, take care of them, and then you'll see just how beautiful they really are.”
"What we often think are flaws is actually what makes us unique. Embrace your uniqueness."
Maricon and her stretch marks
On her past struggle: “I’ve always been into trying different styles of clothes; but due to my insecurities, I avoided the ones that showed my stretch marks. Especially when I went to the gym or the beach, I opted for something that hid them instead of choosing what I actually wanted to wear.
“But nowadays, I've come to terms with my used-to-be insecurities, a.k.a. my stretch marks. With society being more open and vocal about these issues and how we're normalizing what most girls tried to hide before, I’ve become more confident about my body. Also, with the help of the people in my life who actually make me feel that these marks don't make me less of a beautiful girl, I can now go out and wear whatever I like.
“Finally, I have also come to terms that these marks are a reminder of what my body is capable of and how I powered through all the different phases that life brought me with.”
"These marks are a reminder of what my body is capable of and how I powered through all the different phases that life brought me with."
Her advice to women struggling with the same insecurity: “My advice is that people should never make you feel ashamed for what you feel confident about. Acceptance is really the key because, at the end of the day, people who love you won’t value what the eyes meet more than what you actually make them feel. So rock your body and be confident because now, being ‘imperfect’ is in, and body shaming is totally out.”
Ella and her wide nose
On her past struggle: “Growing up in the Philippines, we all grew up with beauty standards that are based on mestiza or Latina beauty which is definitely not Filipino. It’s still apparent, it’s still happening. But now it’s quite less I guess because there’s social media and more people are embracing their unique features. But for me, growing up, I would even have my cousins putting clothespins on their noses. Sometimes, an immediate family member would ask me to do it because apparently, that worked with my cousin. And if I would do it, apparently I’ll have a pointed nose and be more beautiful.
“This is sad because you thought your immediate family would be more accepting and encouraging of what you have. But because of that beauty standard and cultural belief that’s been deeply ingrained in us, that has happened.
“I also did pageantry seven years before modeling and that didn’t help either. Because guess who’s winning the pageantry? People who either have fair skin, mestiza-looking features, or latina-looking features. I have no hate towards them but that’s just how it is. And one day, I got sick of it. There was a time when I was pressured to have my nose done—I already had a sponsor. The only thing they’re waiting for was for me to say yes. But thank God I declined.
“Initially, I was just scared of the thought of doing that to my face. I’m glad I didn’t do that because I flourished in modeling when I moved to London. They accepted me so well. I would even be just walking and people would just randomly compliment me saying, ‘You’re so beautiful.’ And I’ve done beauty campaigns here. My beauty has been respected and appreciated here and I didn't change a thing about myself. It took a while for me to come to terms and feel empowered about it. Modeling really helped because the more unique features I have, the better. It made me realize that what I have is enough. And I'm more than enough. I’m so beautiful. No one looks like me. I am Ella and no one can take that away from me, so it’s a lot of self-discovery.”
"The more unique features I have, the better. It made me realize that what I have is enough. And I'm more than enough. I'm so beautiful."
Her advice to women struggling with the same insecurity: “My advice to women dealing with the same insecurity, here’s is the harsh truth: Insecurity doesn’t go away. It happens no matter how old or how young you are. It’s mostly how you control your insecurity and how you deal with it. As for my younger self, I want to say that I know your self-esteem is crushed at the moment but you are more than enough and I’m so proud of you. There are so many things that will happen to you in the future and you are not going to believe how your life is going to change.”
