Trigger warning: This story tackles anxiety, and graphic descriptions of a panic attack. If you feel that you need help and advice for yourself or anyone else, please contact The National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) Crisis Hotline.
Can’t Buy Me Love is the latest teleserye that's been going viral on social media thanks to its stellar cast and plot-driven storyline, and one scene in particular has received praise and positive feedback from viewers.
READ: Belle Mariano and Donny Pangilinan's panic attack scene in Can't Buy Me Love
What happened in the "panic attack scene" in episode 63 of Can't Buy Me Love?
Caroline (Belle Mariano) is sorting items in the warehouse when a loud bang suddenly startles her, followed by the lights going off. The staff are seen locking the doors from the outside, and Bingo (Donny Pangilinan) is all set to head home when his motorcycle stalls. Hearing loud claps of thunder, Caroline begins to panic. Breathing heavily, she starts to have a flashback. Her traumatic experience as a child—discovering her mother lying dead on the floor—comes back to mind after the argument with her father Wilson Tiu (Rowell Santiago) and Aunty Cindy (Agot Isidro) about their house being sold.
Knocking over a shelf, Caroline further descends into a panic attack. Hearing the loud crash, Bingo decides to investigate the warehouse. Hearing her scream "Go away! Leave me alone!," he rushes to break open the locked door, but his loud attempts only make her hyperventilate in fear. Bingo breaks the lock and finally reaches Caroline, but she's too terrified to acknowledge his presence. Running out of options on how to help—especially as Caroline is now coughing and struggling to breathe—Bingo sings "You'll Be Safe Here" by Rivermaya, which is also the title of the episode. The song gains a whole new meaning because Bingo uses it to calm Caroline down and work her off the edge of her panic attack.
Why is the "panic attack scene" in episode 63 of Can't Buy Me Love important?
When the main character in a highly-talked about teleserye suffers from a panic attack, this raises awareness for and about real people who are affected by mental health issues. Belle's performance as Caroline Tiu was so solid you could literally *feel* her panic through the screen, while Donny's worried attempts to calm her down allow the audience to place themselves in his shoes.
His heartfelt statement, "Palagay ko, Ling. Kailangan mo ng tulong. Pero okay lang 'yon," can be used as an instrument for viewers to better relate to a loved one who might also suffer from the same disorder—and more importantly, how to help them if you're ever in Bingo's shoes.
READ: Everything You Need To Know About Donny Pangilinan And Belle Mariano's 'Can't Buy Me Love'
READ: How To Help If Someone Is Having A Panic Attack
1. Stay calm.
Panic attacks usually don't last long—the most intense feelings usually last "between five to ten minutes." But to the person having an attack, it may feel like it's been going on forever. Even if you feel a little afraid yourself, do not panic.
2. Ask the person to let you know how you can help.
Most people who experience panic attacks or live with other types of anxiety disorders have their own preferred coping method. If you know this in advance, ask them how they'd like to be helped.
However, if you happen upon someone in the midst of a panic attack, calmly ask what you can do for them. Speak in short, simple sentences and ask simple "yes" or "no" questions, since they might be having trouble breathing.
If they'd like you to leave, let them know you can be called back any time. Take a few steps back to give them space, but make sure to stay nearby so you can watch over them in case something worse happens.
3. Talk to the person having a panic attack (if they haven't asked you to stay quiet).
If your voice seems to help them calm down, talk to them calmly. Tell them they are safe, and that you won't leave them alone or judge them for having a panic attack. Bingo does exactly this when Caroline has calmed herself down: "Magiging okay din ang lahat. Nandito ako. Okay?"
4. Prioritize actions over words.
Telling someone "calm down," "don't worry," or "try to relax" might seem helpful and well-meaning, but that can also make the situation more stressful, since the person is already in a panicked state of mind. If a person could simply calm down and stop having a panic attack, they would.
Instead, remain patient and gently remind them to breathe slowly and deeply (like Bingo did to Caroline), and ask them if they'd like to leave the area to go somewhere quieter.
5. Help the person stay grounded.
Grounding techniques help the person focus on the here and the now, not their fear. This is more helpful once the intensity of the attack has decreased a bit. To help someone ground themselves, you can try physical touch, like holding their hand or grasping their shoulders—only if they’re okay with it.
When Bingo sees Caroline huddled on the floor, he immediately grabs her by the shoulders. Some people react badly to sudden physical contact, so make sure to ask first.
6. Encourage them to seek help.
If you think your friend or family member's anxiety is becoming a problem for them, encourage them to seek professional help. Bingo does this after Caroline has calmed down enough to listen to him: "Ling. Palagay ko, Ling. Kailangan mo ng tulong. Pero okay lang 'yon."
"Pero okay lang 'yon" is such a powerful line because people who experience mental health issues often avoid talking about it, believing that others won't understand what they're going through. Others fear being judged or belittled. But the person experiencing a panic attack can't control it, and being empathetic and supportive can mean the world to them.
We should normalize talking about mental health, because this empowers others to seek the help they need. Mental health affects our overall quality of life, and shouldn't be stigmatized or looked down upon.
If you don't know what to say when someone opens up to you about their mental health struggles, try: "That sounds difficult. I’m sorry you experience that. Let me know what I can do to help/support you." Just let them know you care by being there for them and holding space.
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If you feel that you need help and advice for yourself or anyone else, please contact The National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) Crisis Hotline, a 24/7 confidential services hotline for psychiatric emergencies, suicidal thoughts, depression, and other issues at (02) 7989-8727 or (0917) 899-8727 (or 0917 899-USAP). You can also reach out to Hopeline, a 24/7 free and confidential support hotline in the Philippines for those who may be struggling or looking for support with anxiety, depression, loneliness, self-harm, suicide, by calling (02) 8804-4673, (0917) 558-4673 (Globe), or (0918) 873-4673 (Smart). Here is a more complete list of hotlines you can reach out to for further assistance.
