Trigger warning: body dysmorphia, depression
Despite being only 23 years old, Alexa Ilacad has been in the showbiz industry for more than a decade now. She's gained a loyal fanbase and a promising acting portfolio since then, but being in the spotlight has also affected her mental health.
ICYDK, Alexa actually struggles with a major depressive disorder caused by body dysmorphic disorder, a mental health condition that negatively distorts how one perceives their physical appearance due to imagined or slight flaws. She was first diagnosed with the disorder during her Pinoy Big Brother days, and she's been vocal about the issue ever since.
"I don't really see myself in a good light. Iba 'yung nakikita ko sa salamin and it's not an image that I really like," the Gen Z star explained in the latest episode of Star Magic Celebrity Conversations. "Basta ang nararamdaman ko lang is, when I look at the mirror, I don't like what I see."
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Alexa further explained that her mental well-being is unpredictable. She said, "It fluctuates day to day, honestly. It really depends on the day or on which side of the bed I wake up in. Sometimes, it's a good day na parang, 'Uy, I look good today ah.'
"Sometimes, just flat out no or the mood just changes throughout the day. Like noong umaga ok naman ako, and then something triggered [me] maybe," she added.
Although Alexa regularly gets professional help, she's still not immune to moments of insecurity. According to her, the journey to recovery is complicated and paved with countless setbacks:"I know that progress is not linear kasi. You expect it to go at a certain line at the same speed, and you're doing okay, but it's really not like that."
That's why Alexa believes that there's nothing wrong with being vulnerable, as unsettling as it may feel at first. "Hindi naman ako parating malakas. I don't have it in me all the time, and I guess that's okay. You don't have to be strong all the time. Sabi ko nga, there is strength in vulnerability," she concluded. "I'm not afraid to admit that I'm not okay every day."
We couldn't agree with you more, Alexa!
You can watch Alexa's full interview here:
