'Tawag nang tawag yung boss ko after office hours. How do I get her to stop?'

Q: Lately, I've been feeling super overworked. Parang wala na kong ginagawa kundi mag-trabaho. Nahirapan talaga ako mag-adjust sa work-from-home setup namin pero I feel like yung main reason is parang wala na talagang difference between my personal and professional life. It doesn't help that my boss keeps texting, calling, and emailing me at night—after I time out. How can I handle this? I need advice on how to set boundaries with my boss.

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How to set boundaries

The pandemic threw us all for a loop—including your boss. If you weren't operating in a work-from-home setup before COVID-19 hit, it's probably been incredibly hard to adjust. Lines were blurred and it can feel like work-life balance was just a thing of the past. But it doesn't have to be. 

Cosmopolitan spoke to meta coach and neuro-semantics trainer Sheila Tan about how you can set boundaries at work, and it all starts with asking for an alignment meeting. Talk about your objectives, working styles, and specifically, how you prefer to be managed. 

Referencing her personal experience, Sheila shared, "I told my boss, 'I don't like answering calls 7:00 p.m. onwards. And please don't message me at 5:00 a.m. or 6:00 a.m.' My boss said, 'Well, you know, I just messaged you because it's on my mind and I'm already up, but I don't expect you to answer." So I said, "I'm not going to look at my phone between this time and this time, is that okay with you?" 

Determine your working style because some people don't mind getting frequent messages. According to Sheila, the responses to off-hour messages can go from "It's okay, message me anytime" to "You messaged me and my whole weekend is wrecked."

The key is to assure your boss that "whatever the outcome is, whatever the goal is, you're on track unless you tell them." That requires you to be more open about your progress. Bring up your concerns if you need help and if there's something you can't tackle on your own to avoid the element of surprise: "Many of the bosses who tend to micromanage are those who are afraid of bad surprises. If the person knows that [he or she is] not gonna be surprised and [the employee] is just gonna do what's expected then I would assume that the person would be more open to at least adjusting their management styles."

Learn more about how to set boundaries by watching the video below.

Sheila Tan is a meta coach and neuro-semantics trainer. She is also the president of Altius Coaching and Consulting. Sheila co-founded Flourish Circle, a community-based solution for mental health. Her advocacies include HIV awareness, women empowerment, and mental health. You can contact her through Altius Coaching's website, Facebook, or Instagram.

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