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Do you remember in the 2000s when we were crazy about the girlboss era? Everyone was all about "SHE-E-O," glamorizing the hustle, and being self-made. But as years passed, women realized that the term "girlboss" was a harmful gender stereotype.
In a story by Refinery29, they stated that "girlboss" infantilizes women or "pinkwashes" and adds glitter to a female leader's achievements. We've never heard of the term #boyboss so why even add "girl" to boss? Why not call her an entrepreneur or a business owner?
The term girlboss was also connected to being toxic. Most bigwig female leaders stepped down in the U.S. They failed to see and tackle the real issues concerning women: The gender pay gap, the glass ceiling, and the general safety of women in the workplace. Plus, let's not forget the notion that women are always expected to do more and go above and beyond just to gain what they deserve in the first place.
In 2020, we all realized that time is too precious to waste to not live in the moment. This was when we learned about the importance of boundaries at work, especially with the work-from-home setup during the pandemic. The Great Resignation happened because humans realized that a toxic work culture was not worth the pay. Remember "quiet quitting?"
READ: 6 Small Ways To Create Boundaries Between Your Work And Personal Life
This was also the time when TikTok became big. It became easier to discover people who had the same interests as you, birthing the beauty of relatability and community. We connected with TikTok users around the world who share the same views as us. TikTok trends were born left and right. One of them was the "soft girl," the answer to toxic girlboss culture. This is also a response to the expectation that women should pick up after the men in their lives.
What does "soft girl" even mean?
The "soft girl" was first known as an aesthetic. Soft girls would dress in outfits that would allow them to embrace their femininity. Pastels and ruffles, delicate fabrics, and cute silhouettes would be the staples in their wardrobe. But apart from a fashion expression, being a soft girl is more than wearing pretty clothes. It's a lifestyle.
Living like a soft girl is about slowing down—a contrast to the hustle culture we've been used to since birth. The general idea is that life should be nurtured and enjoyed. Soft girls prioritize self-care and mindfulness. Plus, they aim to be in a calm, comfortable living environment. It's the polar opposite of girlboss.
Those who have chosen to live and work in beach towns or relocate to provinces can be called soft girls. Being away from the noise of the city allows them to slow down and live a calmer life.
The common misconception of the soft girl lifestyle
The rejection of hustle culture doesn't mean that soft girls slack off! Soft girls believe there is still value in hard work. Plus, let's be honest, the soft girl lifestyle costs money. The only difference is the act of chasing a certain aesthetic or gender expectation is put on pause.
The soft girl lifestyle is not about having a closet full of pink clothes, attending pilates classes, and just quitting your responsibilities. It is about living a simple life, focusing on your physical, mental, and emotional health. As the name suggests, it's being soft and gentle with yourself through thoughts, words, and actions. It's a holistic approach to loving yourself.
READ: Reminder: Self-Care Is *Never* Selfish—It's Necessary
How To Live Your Soft Girl Era
Slow down in the morning
When you wake up, don't switch your brain and body into "work mode" right away. Focus on breathing and notice how your lungs and body feel with each breath. Do this for five minutes, and then slowly go by your morning routine.
Drink lots of water
I know you’ve heard of this advice before but it’s really the first thing you need to learn. I always struggled to keep up with my water intake. What I found to be helpful is to drink from a tumbler with a straw. It's just sooo easy to sip all the H2O. You'll be surprised at how frequently you will be refilling your bottle!
Stanley Adventure Quencher H2.0 Flowstate Insulated Tumbler 40 oz., P2,349
It's cute. It's aesthetic. The TikTok girlies are onto something because this tumbler can really help you drink lots of water.
(Ed's note: You don't need to spend on an expensive tumbler. You can also just work with a reusable straw for your existing tumbler.)
Take your supplements the yummy way
I find it hard to take vitamins or get my required nutrition intake. If you're like me, try gummy vitamins so you can get the health boost without worrying about swallowing large capsules. Take these after a meal so it also serves as a sweet treat.
Goli Apple Cider Vinegar Gummies 60 pieces, P990
Two gummies of this ACV supplement support heart health and help boost metabolism.
Goli Superfruit Gummies 60 pieces, P990
This one is rich in vitamin C and collagen to grant you glowing skin from within.
Up your fiber intake
Consuming fiber daily has a ton of benefits. Your blood sugars are regulated and you've got regular bowel movement. When your gut is healthy, it manifests in your mood and physical health. You can get fiber from eating fruits and veggies or by taking a fiber supplement.
Trizie Grape Fiber 3-Day Sachets, P715.50
The detox kit you need for a lighter feeling.
Hop in the 12-3-30 trend
Movement is everything, and so far, the “lazy” or low-impact exercise that feels effortless is the 12-3-30 treadmill workout. If you need a push, treat yourself to sneakers that feel like clouds on your feet. Who knows? You’ll slowly progress to running when you notice how comfy this shoe is.
Adidas Switch FWD Running Shoes, P8,500
This pair feels like you're walking (or running) on clouds.
Or try “Cozy Cardio”
TikTok content creator Hope Zuckerbrow started this movement to help heal our relationship with exercise. Because of the pressure to look perfect, exercise felt like punishment. Cozy cardio involves creating a warm, cozy ambiance with candles and your fave show playing in the background. Plus, nourishment from protein coffee or your favorite drink of choice. You can opt to walk on a walking pad.
@hope_zuckerbrow cozy cardio???????? #fyp #cardio #cozy #weightloss #walkingpad ? Blue Moon - Muspace Lofi
Walking pad, P4,999
A walking pad occupies less space than a treadmill machine. Storage won't be a problem because of its size and design.
Take little breaks within the day
Sitting the whole day can affect your blood circulation and your mood. If you’re low on energy, just a few light stretches can help your body feel better. You can also go outside and walk for a few minutes to recharge your mind.
Do something that you love!
Engaging in activities you enjoy is important. Hobbies don't have to be as big (or time-consuming) as enrolling in an art class or photography workshop. Your chosen interest doesn't have to be expensive as well. Short and quick activities can help shoot up your dopamine levels so you'll feel better.
Kristen West created a TikTok video introducing the concept of a dopamine menu to find joy while surviving a busy life. Appetizers give quick happiness boosts and you can do these in under 10 minutes. Entrees are the main hobbies you enjoy and love. These just take more time to do it. Sides are things you can simultaneously accomplish with your "boring tasks." Desserts are your go-to like scrolling on social media or watching YouTube videos.
@thecenteredlife ????how to use your dopamine menu???? Does anyone else get anxious on the weekends because you don’t know what to do with free time?? So you just scroll the whole time?? Just me??? Having a “menu” to remind me of the things that actually help me feel joyful, grounded and connected to my body has alleviated some of this “free-time anxiety” and helped me pepper some brain boosts into boring workdays too! I know it seems silly— like it’s just a piece of paper, lol— but for me, it helps to keep these reminders visible so I can default to dessert just a liiiitle bit less ???? Please share what you’d put on your menu? What are your favorite entrees and appetizers? ?? if you’d like to swipe my printable, it’s in the bi0 or this is an easy one to make yourself ????? big thank you to @Jessica McCabe for creating the OG video that inspired this! #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #procrastination #productivity #adhd #adhdinwomen #dopamine #adhdproblems #productivitytips #motivation #anxiety ? original sound - Kristen ? The Centered Life Co
Have a slow-down evening routine
Being a soft girl is about slowing down so this list definitely includes prioritizing sleep. Being a soft girl means unlearning the saying "sleep is for the weak." Girl, you will be weak if you don't get enough zzz's. Wind down at least an hour before you plan to go to bed. This means no social media, lights off, and being in your pantulog. If you have the budget, invest in a bed that is firm yet soft so you'll get a deep slumber. No budget yet for a new mattress? Go for a memory foam pillow instead. Cash strapped? Aim for clean sheets, a tidy room, and a super dark bedroom to have a serene evening.
Emma Buy One, Get One Foam Pillow (2 Foam Pillows), P4,300 (Original price: P6,600)
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