It's aggravating when something important or painful is out of your hands--such as when your ex starts dating again or you miss a flight. "It's natural to fret when you feel helpless," says Virginia P. Williams, PhD, coauthor of In Control, "but that won't accomplish anything except possibly making your blood pressure rise." The one thing you can control is your reaction. Here's how to tame it.
Accept your position. "Say to yourself, 'There's nothing I can do about this situation, so I may as well try to relax,'" suggests Williams. Yes, it's a lot easier said than done, but just the act of slowly repeating a phrase like that a few times will calm you down...and start to convince you of its truth.
Avoid catastrophicizing. Negative thoughts like "This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me!" take a terrible toll on your body. "Stressful thinking can cause your adrenaline level to skyrocket," says Williams. "It also can weaken your immune system, leaving you feeling exhausted." Get perspective by reminding yourself that there are other people in more dire straits than you're in.
Distract yourself. Call a friend, pop in a DVD, or do some floor exercises--anything to divert your attention. "Mentally removing yourself from the situation makes it easier to endure," says Williams. "Doing so will improve your mood and negate some of those feelings of powerlessness."
Photo courtesy of Universal Studios and Miramax
Accept your position. "Say to yourself, 'There's nothing I can do about this situation, so I may as well try to relax,'" suggests Williams. Yes, it's a lot easier said than done, but just the act of slowly repeating a phrase like that a few times will calm you down...and start to convince you of its truth.
Avoid catastrophicizing. Negative thoughts like "This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me!" take a terrible toll on your body. "Stressful thinking can cause your adrenaline level to skyrocket," says Williams. "It also can weaken your immune system, leaving you feeling exhausted." Get perspective by reminding yourself that there are other people in more dire straits than you're in.
Distract yourself. Call a friend, pop in a DVD, or do some floor exercises--anything to divert your attention. "Mentally removing yourself from the situation makes it easier to endure," says Williams. "Doing so will improve your mood and negate some of those feelings of powerlessness."
Photo courtesy of Universal Studios and Miramax
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