Composing a graduation post is an opportunity to inspire others. After all, it took four long years to don your hard-earned graduation robe, and you would want to commemorate it with the right words. While there’s nothing wrong with sharing positive quotes, it can also be an avenue to share struggles, shedding light on experiences not everyone will think fondly of.
In a now-viral post, UP Mechanical Engineering graduate Jaynard Tiangco Ronquillo penned a ~controversial graduation message~, dedicated not just to celebrating his win but also to being a wake-up call for parents not to romanticize poverty and provide better resources for their kids.
“Sana hindi niyo na lang ako pinanganak,” he started his lengthy post, piquing netizens’ attention and saying that he uttered this line to his parents in two scenarios.
Jaynard is the eldest child in a household with no college graduates. His dad and mom both juggled jobs to provide for their family, and he used to be the “bright, hopeful, and optimistic kid who had the goal of saving the whole family from poverty.” It didn’t take long for him to realize how unfair life is, comparing his situation to his more fortunate peers’.
He wrote, “Growing up, I started to question life. Bakit sila may ganito pero tayo ay wala? Bakit sila may pambili pero tayo ay wala? Bakit yung almusal ng kaklase ko marami, pero kami ng kapatid ko wala o kaya naman ay kailangang maghati sa iisang itlog?
“Bakit yung kaklase ko may service pauwi samantalang ako walang choice kundi maglakad araw-araw kahit malayo? Bakit yung kaklase ko nakakabayad agad ng PTA? Bakit sila may handa lagi sa birthday pero ako ay wala? Bakit wala akong baon? Bakit sila mayaman tapos tayo ay mahirap? Bakit ganito ang buhay? At an early age, I realized, life really is unfair. May mga batang tulad ko na subsob sa pag-aaral at tila ba ‘di alintana ang kumakalam na sikmura dahil wala namang choice.”
He also shared the response he got from his parents, which were words you’d usually hear from a Filipino household. "The usual response from an optimistic Filipino like my parents is, 'Don't compare your life to others.' O kaya naman ay 'Pasalamat ka na lang may nakakain ka, young iba wala.'" Don’t get me wrong, but comparing your life to others is valid as long as you’re doing it to identify your needs. Also, we shouldn’t always use other people's misfortunes to make us or others feel like the problem we are experiencing isn’t really so hard.”
He continued, “Going back to my journey as the first college graduate ng buong angkan, I didn’t grow up having role models, mentors, tutors, or someone in our family who is successful that I can look up to. I grew up having people I didn’t want to be like and seeing situations I’d never want to be in.”
He opened up about his embarrassing moments as a poor kid, including when he came to a sari-sari store and added items to their long list of “utang”.
He might’ve uttered the words “Sana di niyo na lang ako pinanganak” as a kid who “manifested his frustration when his parents can't provide the things he desires,” but he found himself saying the same words now that he’s an adult, with a more mature mindset.
He mentioned his family relying on his scholarship stipends (supposedly used for academics) for expenses to sustain their household needs. "It was triggered by a delay in receiving stipends from my scholarships, leaving us without any source of income. We were already midway through the semester, and the mounting debts were becoming overwhelming. I reached out to my mother for financial assistance, as I needed the money for rent, internet, electricity, and water bills. Unfortunately, we were left with absolutely nothing to spare, and there were no options for borrowing either. Regrettably, driven by sheer frustration, I let those painful words escape my lips once again.”
He penned words on how poverty impacted not just his own hopes and dreams but his parents' as well. “ While I wanted my parents to know that I love them deeply, I couldn't help but reflect on the circumstances of my existence and the world in which we live. Growing up, I saw the hardships they both endured to provide for me, and I was grateful for the sacrifices they had made. But I couldn't help but wonder about a different path – one where they had the chance to pursue their own passions and dreams without the burden of poverty.
"It saddened me to think that they might have missed out on the opportunities and joys that life could have offered them if circumstances were different. Maybe they had dreams of becoming artists, musicians, or explorers. Perhaps they had aspirations to travel the world, discover new horizons, and embrace the beauty it had to offer. What if my father, with his exceptional mechanical skills, and my mother, who stood at the top of her class, had followed their passions? What if they decided not to have me and instead pursued their college dreams?
"However, the weight of poverty pushed my parents into a constant struggle for survival. They had to prioritize putting food on the table and ensuring a roof over our heads, leaving little time or energy to chase after their own dreams. I couldn't help but wish for a reality where my parents both had the chance to flourish, to pursue their passions wholeheartedly.”
He cleared that he doesn't aim to blame anyone or harbor resentment, but wants to "underscore the importance of setting the stage for a child's life in the best possible way."
He said, "To all the future parents out there, I implore you to reflect on my words. Your child's future is shaped by the foundation you lay for them. I hope my journey can serve as a reminder to prioritize mental and financial preparedness before embarking on this beautiful yet challenging path of parenthood."
You can read Jaynard’s whole post here:
