Pat Lasaten & Agnes Reoma Are The Women Of Influence Pride Patrons

Patricia Lasaten and Agnes Reoma have a recommendation: Bloom Into You. 

"Yung cute na mga ganun," Agnes describes the show when we were talking about the rise of queer media—both the creation and viewership of it—like in the "Girls Love" genre.

The bassist of Filipino folk-pop act Ben&Ben—who recently dropped their third studio album The Traveller Across Dimensions—further shares with Cosmopolitan Philippines, "Growing up, parang yung mga queer, lagi silang side characters, never the main character. It's nice to see na sa media, nagiging open na rin yung mga tao. Exciting kung saan tayo papunta."

The same themes of love, confessions, and vulnerability in Bloom Into You echo in "Paninindigan Kita (Stand by You)" music video, where Agnes stars opposite her now-wife, Pat. The 2022 MV, which has over eight million views, immortalized their long-running partnership with glimpses of their real-life moments. But did you know things almost played out differently? 

READ MORE: We Love Love! Ben&Ben's Pat Lasaten And Agnes Reoma Just Got Married In L.A.

Pat recalls receiving the song's voice memo from frontman Paolo Benjamin but never discussing how much she and Agnes related to it on their own. "We were thinking, 'Oh this is a nice song.' Pero ang hindi namin napag-usapan was, 'Uy, relate pala tayo sa song na 'to.' It was just, I kept this thought to myself. She kept that thought to herself. Tapos na-record na yung song."

Meanwhile, Agnes remembers seeing the single's cover art—a boy and girl in a proposal setting—while at a rally. Although she questioned it, she let it go since it was already set for release. They later had an honest conversation, realizing their bandmates had sensed their connection all along. What started as a joke about them being the protagonists turned into a full-on brainstorming session—and they were officially chosen to star.

For Pat, the MV felt like a sign. "Just a few days before namin napag-usapan yung music video and single art, pinick up ko na yung singsing [for Agnes]. In my head, dahil meron na nga akong singsing, humihingi na lang ako ng sign. Itutuloy ko ba 'to? Tapos this MV [and] this idea came along, and I was like, 'Oh shit, this is definitely a sign.'"

Pat Lasaten and Agnes Reoma For Cosmopolitan Philippines' Women Of Influence 2025
Photographed by Miggy Broño

But this isn't just about waiting for signs—Pat and Agnes' love story is one of constant action, making intentional choices while staying true to their individual paths.

As Cosmopolitan Philippines' Women of Influence 2025's awardees, The Pride Patrons open up about married life, coming out, love as a choice, and the many faces of girlhood that brought harmony beyond music.

READ MORE: This Is Girlhood: Meet The Cosmopolitan Philippines Women Of Influence Awardees Of 2025

Pat Lasaten and Agnes Reoma, The Pride Patrons

Hi, Pat and Agnes! This is a bit late, but congratulations on your wedding! How has your life changed in the past months?

Pat: Thank you! Akala ko walang magbabago, since we've been living together. So, I thought marriage wouldn't really change much of what we have. Pero maraming nagbago, at the same time maraming nag-stay the same. It feels like we've unlocked a different level in our relationship. Parang may bonus na, "Wow, na-unlock ko pala yung deeper connection." Feeling ko personally, mas stable now. Hindi na ako as anxious as before na, "Iiwanan niya ako." [laughs]

Agnes: [Yun din yung] question sa amin ng parents ni Pat. Kasi basically we've been living together for ilang years na rin. Ang dami na ring shared properties in a way. [laughs] Getting the car, the condo, medyo okay na yung things, businesses, so parang, "Bakit pa kayo magpapakasal? Parang 'yun na rin 'yun. Gastos lang yan." Inisip ko yun, 'pag sinasabi nila yung practicality. 

Ang pinaka-dinagdag niya sa buhay namin is seeing everyone [being there at the wedding and] supporting us as a couple; being witnesses sa mga vows namin. Pag nakita ko yung parents mo, yung family mo, or yung bandmates natin, ngayon alam ko na saksi sila sa nangyari sa day na 'yun, alam kong mas connected kami in a way, kasi they're supporting us.

Pat: Tsaka hindi siya yung assumed lang na, "Oh, love nila kami. Support nila kami." Ano na siya eh, "Oh, they were here. Sure ako na support nila kami. Sure ako na love nila kami. Sure ako na tanggap nila kami."

Agnes: Yung nakita ko ngang changes, mas confident tayo in being together.

How would you describe your own coming of age? Given that we're in a conservative country, how did you weave together your beliefs and the opinions of other people when it comes to discovering your identity?

Agnes: Meron akong adopted family dito sa Manila. I'm from Baguio. And then they adopted me nung college kasi nga [my family wanted] me to pursue music. [Sabi nila] "Wag kang mag-quit ng school, pumunta kang Manila, kami na bahala sa'yo." [We're] close because of our religious organization. We have a really strong connection, parang tito at tita ko sila. 

Nung nagkakaroon na nga ng feelings, every time we would attend Church, iniisip ko, tine-test ba ako ni God? Iniisip ko rin, anong sasabihin ng mga tita't tito ko, after [ako] paaralin [at] tulungan sa career [and] life. Hindi ko alam kung paano ife-face nung una. Iniisip ko nung una it's okay for me [na] medyo i-ghost sila kaysa i-disappoint. Parang yung choice ko nun was tell them kasi at least they know this version of Agnes kaysa makita ko pa yung version din nila, if magagalit ba. 

Years later, si Miguel [Benjamin] napakasalan niya si Karelle—she's part of the family na nag-adopt sa'kin. So parang magiging intertwined talaga yung mga buhay at malalaman nila lahat. Si Karelle yung unang nakaalam. 

When we did the "Paninindigan Kita" MV, I know na sobrang powerful niyang statement.

Pat: Medyo ganun din [sa'kin]. Meron akong core memory nung 13 years old ako, kami lang ni dad nasa car and then he told me, "Trish, wag ka munang magbo-boyfriend ah, at lalo wag ka munang mag-gi-girlfriend. It will break me and your mom's heart." Eh di nag-stay na yun sakin for the next how many years of my life. 

Tsaka lang ako nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob na mag-out nung bandang college na ako. Na-feel ko na ito na yung time. There's this one conversation I had with my mom, sa car ulit. Habang nagda-drive ako, sabi ko, "What if girls gusto ko?" Then, hindi siya makaimik. [We] had a quiet moment in Church. Feel ko na hindi niya alam kung paano siya magre-react.

Yung time na nag-come out talaga ako was nung sinabi ko na explicitly na si Agnes yung partner ko. [Sabi ko,] "sinasabi ko to sa inyo kasi gusto kong maging mas close pa tayo as a family." Kasi close naman kami ng parents ko. Yun lang yung part na hindi ko shine-share; siguro napagod na rin ako mag-filter ng mga bagay-bagay. Gusto ko lang magkwento na pumunta kami sa ganitong lugar, pero hindi ko isasama si Agnes sa story, eh kasama siya. 

Also, para lang din mas free kami. Kasi I'm trying to build a life with Agnes, pero lagi kong ico-consider yung sasabihin ng parents ko. Parang hindi rin naman tama yun. It didn't sit right with me na parang gusto ko siyang gawing main priority pero paano yung mangyayari if lagi siyang nagtatalo sa idea of me pleasing my parents?

So I had to choose. I feel like yung life ko the past 10 years that we've been together, has been full of choices. Like, ikaw or yung sasabihin ng parents ko? Ikaw or yung comfort of things just staying the same, them not knowing. Tapos tayo, ito lang. This or growth?

Growing up, who were the women you looked up to?

Pat: Ako kasi, puro popstar. [laughs] Hayley Williams, Miley Cyrus, Avril Lavigne...Pero kung meron akong number one, si Hayley Williams talaga. Kapag pinapanood ko siya, parang, "Wow dude, ang badass niya." Onstage wala siyang pakialam sa sasabihin ng ibang tao about the way she performs. Then Miley Cyrus, siya talaga yung reason kung bakit ako nag-aral mag-guitar. 

Agnes: Puro fictional characters pala [yung akin], as a book nerd nung bata. So, si Hermione Granger. Siya yung responsible sa group. Hunger Games, si Katniss [Everdeen].

Oh, strong female characters.

Agnes: Oo, strong women! Tapos si Annabeth [Chase] sa Percy Jackson, yung mga kids’ books no'n. Pero naaalala ko nung high school, seeing how Yeng Constantino made it to the music industry as a girl na hindi the usual stereotype na parang, anong tawag dun—

Pat: Princess.

Agnes: Princess girl. [Parang yung] Hannah Montana mo na like rockstar, pwede palang maging astig. Tsaka si Lalay [Lim] ng Urbandub. Yung mga girl musicians, si Mapins (Myrene Academia) ng Sandwich. 

Since "Paninindigan Kita" is about fighting for someone you love through trials, how do you exhibit that in your relationship? Even in little, mundane ways.

Agnes: May iba siyang lalim. Or maybe it's just us Filipinos. Pero yung word kasi, parang kahit ano talagang mangyari and it's like a choice you made, and hindi dahil lang you are trapped in that situation. Like, it's coming from you, yung paninindigan mo as a person. The mundane things nga na, "Okay hindi na naman kami nagkakaintinidhan. But you know, at the end of this, I know she loves me and I love her."

Pat: Yeah, kung bigger things 'yung usapan, I would say, it's prioritizing each other above everything else. Kasi 'yun nga, dahil close ako sa family ko, [like] choosing like actually prioritizing yung New Year's Eve and Christmas Day namin versus Christmas Day with family. Little things like that.

Agnes: Mukha kasing little pero when you're there—

Pat: Medyo mahirap siyang gawin. Just to give an example: Okay, ang pinag-usapan, on Christmas Day dun tayo sa family ko. New Year's Day, dun tayo sa family mo. 'Yung mga stuff na hindi kami used to doing, ginagawa namin together; figuring things out together. Marami din kasing mga first, for example itong place na tinitirhan namin ngayon, matagal namin siyang tinrabaho, matagal namin siyang pinag-ipunan. So I guess fighting for the life you want to live.

What challenges do you face as women in the industry? With these, do you find yourself actively advocating for representation, or do you think your presence alone is enough?

Agnes: Actually, ever since we came out, parang dun lang namin na-feel na, "Shocks, meron na yata tayong responsibility na maging, at least, vocal. Pero ang na-feel nga namin, yung sinabi mong being here alone makes a difference. [We get] all these messages [like], "I started playing bass po because I saw you playing bass."

Or 'yung mga, "May keyboard na po yung anak kong babae." Konti lang yung musicians na girls when I was growing up. So hindi siya option for me—like being in a band as a career, hindi ko siya naisip kahit music yung gusto kong path. I wanted to be a film composer, kasi dun ko nakikita, yung parang sa background. Wala akong nakikitang babae, puro lalaki yung sumisikat sa industry na 'to. 

Pat: I wouldn't say na strong suit namin ni Agnes yung advocating and being vocal about things. Hindi lang kami magaling mag-connect in that way. Hindi kami magaling na public speakers. I don't think makaka-inspire kami that way, hindi yun yung way naming dalawa.

Pat Lasaten and Agnes Reoma, The Women Of Influence Awardees

If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?

Agnes: "Adaptable." (laughs) Iniisip ko yung number one strength ko. 

Pat: She thrives in challenges. 

Agnes: 'Pag may something na out of the ordinary, parang, "Shocks! It's a chance for us to do something new." Even the band, laging sinasabi, iba ka mag-isip. "Guys, may chance tayong gawin 'to in an acoustic way kasi nawalan ng kuryente."

What about Pat?

Pat: Ang weird sabihin, pero "achiever."

Agnes: But it's a positive thing.

Pat: Hindi siya in a "gold star student ako" or like, "pick me, teacher." I just like getting things done. Yun lang talaga yung personality ko tapos naiirita ako kapag hindi siya natatapos. 

Agnes: Tsaka every day dapat meron siyang nafu-fulfill or natatapos na task. Kahit rest day. 

Pat: Ganun talaga ako as a person kasi hindi naman sa mabilis ako ma-bore, I just feel like marami pa akong pwedeng gawin. 

What does girlhood mean to you, and how has it shaped the work you do today?

Agnes: Growing up, yung mga malalapit sa'kin, sa mga magkakapatid, puro boys. Kahit nga yung mga kalaro ko nung bata ako, puro boys din. Kahit nung college. Kayo lang (Pat) ni Nicole yung naging close ko na girls.

Parang mas na-feel ko yung girlhood when we were living together nung band kasi nagkaroon ng "Girls' Room." Yung sisters ko medyo malayo yung age namin growing up.

But na-feel ko yung solid na girlhood when we (the band) were staying together in one house. Tapos parang pwede ko palang i-share dito na kailangan ko ng napkin. Parang, "Ah okay, gets nila yung nangyayari." May solid point nga nun, after living a year together, na parang nag-sy-sync na tayo lahat ng—

Pat: Oo, nagsy-sync na yung periods natin! [laughs]

Agnes: Minsan sa Girls' Room, may papasok na lang tas sasabihin niya, "Guys, nagkaroon na ako."

Sobrang na-feel ko lang yung support namin sa isa’t isa. The whole band is close, pero dun ko na-feel na there really are things that only girls understand. Na-realize ko lang din ngayon, kasi 'di ba pag may period ka pala, emotional [ka]. So sabay-sabay din pala tayo. Dun ko na-feel na, “Ah, close ako sa mga ‘to. You got me. We got you."

Pat: Nakaka-senti.

Agnes: Gumawa pa kami nun ng Instagram.

Pat: May Instagram kami non! Girls Room Lang Malakas. I grew up in an all-girls school, so you would think girlhood or that experience would be as intense as the pandemic girlhood. Pero hindi rin eh.

Yung girlhood kasi for me [is] not caring about what others would think. Basta ako masaya ako, that's what I would recall. Yung feeling ng girlhood, naglalaro kami sa school having fun. Parang iba yung experience n'on as an adolescent, as yung pandemic na Girls' Room. I'm not saying na one is better than the other. But they are similar in a way na they are both free. Free to be myself.

What change do you hope to see for women in your industry?

Pat: Mas marami sana [kami]. Yun talaga yun. Kasi there's this one music festival we attended sa Malaysia, tapos aside from the girl group and isang popstar, wala nang ibang babae. Kami na lang apat nina Jam tsaka ni Toni, [tapos] puro boys. All-male.

Agnes: Kaya I'm happy ngayon with BINI. I think one of our first kwentuhan nun, kasi we were able to meet them nung nag-Sydney kami together. Before pa nito sila maging sikat, wala pa silang hit song nun. Tapos parang may brief kwentuhan lang na, "Kumusta kayo sa industry?" Tapos nung nagkukwento sila, bigla kong na-realize na "Shet, gets nila yung nafe-feel namin." Kasi naranasan nila yung mga ganitong nangyari… Tas na-realize ko hindi naman mangyayari yun kung mas maraming girls sa industry. Not just in the spotlight, kahit yung sa limelight, mga girls as director, stage producer, mga ganyan.

Pat: Oo, oo.

Agnes: Kasi I know ang daming talented and competitive people out there. Pero for some reason—

Pat: Hindi siya nagiging option in their heads [kasi hindi] nila madalas nakikita.

Agnes: Or like the politics of it, or kung ano mang factor yun. But slowly nafe-feel naman natin siya na things are improving and going sa right path. So lagi naming sinasabi sa mga interview na if gusto niyong gawin yung music as a career, possible siya. Maraming possibilities ngayon. Parang open bigla yung market and with the help of social media, ang dami nang technology, and I hope marami pa kaming makita in the industry. 

What's a small but powerful way women can support each other every day?

Agnes: Checking [on each other] and saying hi to each other.

Pat: Yeah, actually, communicating.

Agnes: When I first saw Yeng Constantino, hindi namin alam kung anong sasabihin, pero you just need lang pala to say hi. Nung nag-"hi" din siya sa amin, feeling ko, "Shit!" Parang the small gestures, nakaka-boost siya. I think yun nga, yung feeling lang na—

Pat: Hindi ka mag-isa.

Agnes: That people are supporting you. That they [got] you.

Pat: Yeah, there's this one hangout. Kilala ko na yung group na 'to eh, like I always see them around sa music scene, pero hindi ako masyadong lumalapit kasi nai-intimidate ako, pero... kinausap ko lang yung girl na 'to specifically, "Alam mo, nahihiya lang ako sa'yo pero feeling ko sobrang cool mo. Gusto kitang kausapin [pero] 'di ko alam kung paano kita lalapitan." Tapos sabi niya, "Huh? Eh 'di nga ako lumalapit sa'yo kasi ang cool mo eh." Ang laki ng power ng reaching out kasi hindi mo alam baka nagkakahiyaan lang pala kayo.

What brief message would you give to queer kids who are struggling in coming out?

Pat: Hindi mo kailangang magmadali. Ako kasi, yung experience ko sa pag-come out, kapag na-feel mo na na gusto mo nang mag-come out, feeling ko darating 'yun nang kusa. I feel like subconsciously gagawa ka ng paraan. Hindi mo alam nabui-build mo na pala yung lakas ng loob para mag-come out. So I feel like once nandun na ’yung desire mo to come out, take your time. Kasi kung hindi mo pa time mag-come out, baka maging pangit lang ’yung experience. I mean, if you're gonna come out and you're already expecting people to react negatively, sana ikaw sa sarili mo, you do it at a time you're ready, 'di ba, and when it feels right for you.

Agnes: Ikaw lang makakapagsabi nun so don't worry kung ano mang sinasabi ng iba. If nandiyan ka pa sa closet, okay lang, we'll wait for you here. Huwag magmadali.

***

PHOTOGRAPHER: Miggy Broño
ART DIRECTOR: Ica Del Mundo, assisted by Bea Bognot and Bea Malonzo
ASSOCIATE EDITOR: Ida Aldana
PRODUCER: Alyana Olivar
MAKEUP: Jazthine Manaloto
HAIR: Nikko Bruel
STORY: Jelou Galang
VIDEO: Cherrie Julian, Jino Del Mundo, and Greeko Junio
SOCIAL MEDIA: Aina Lizarondo, assisted by Elsa Macalinao