If there's one thing that this world needs the most right now, it's kindness. TV personality KaladKaren proves it's something that she can gracefully and generously give to everyone.
"Educate NOT Humiliate," KaladKaren begins her Facebook post uploaded evening of July 23, 2024. The post was her takeaway from the viral incident involving a former TV personality, Jude Bacalso, and a waiter at a restaurant in Cebu City. Reportedly, the incident began when the waiter misgendered Jude and she tried to correct the waiter.
However, an online citizen witnessed the incident and posted on Facebook stating that Jude had asked the waiter to stand for two hours as she put out a sermon regarding the right way to address her. The viral incident drew so many reactions and insights triggering various statements and apologies from involved parties.
KaladKaren speaks up on viral 'misgendering' incident in Cebu
But for KaladKaren, the Cosmopolitan Women of Influence 2024 awardee for LGBTQIA+ Representation, the incident could've been handled in a better way and it all boils down to humility and understanding. "Sometimes, I still get called 'sir'… but I know how to choose my battles. When this happens, most of the time, I just smile, be the bigger person, and let it pass," she noted.
"Sometimes I answer in jest, 'Ikaw naman kuya/ate, ang ganda ko naman pong sir' sabay tawanan kami or sometimes I seriously ask them, 'Kapag nakabihis babae pwede tawagin na lang ng "ma’am" or "miss", if you're not sure po, pwede sila tanungin," KaladKaren added.
True enough, there are ways to gently explain the rules of proper pronouns to our LGBTQIA+ friends. KaladKaren further underscored that misgendering someone does not automatically mean that they aim to offend people in any way. Sometimes, they are only confused and need guidance. "Oftentimes, people don't mean to offend you. Nalilito lang talaga sila. Tinawag kang ma’am or sir because they want to show respect. Pero syempre, may iba rin naman talagang gustong mambastos at ibang usapan na iyon."
She goes on to note that there's still so much work to do in educating people about using the right pronouns—and it does not take one person to change it. It takes a whole community to make a change.
"Sadly, not everybody is 100% aware of how to use the right pronouns. As members of the community, I believe it is our responsibility to educate others about this. We have to let them understand the importance of using the right pronouns for every SOGIE. But educate properly. People commit mistakes… I do also," KaladKaren declared.
KaladKaren leaves a call for everyone to be kind, spread love, and offer respect to anyone. And we agree 100% with her. "I believe, being kind makes us empathize more with other people. Let’s love and respect one another," she concluded.
