Fact: Consent is—and should be—universally straightforward. It only becomes a complicated issue because there are individuals who assume entitlement over another person. It is a very misogynistic notion to think that "no" can mean many things or that coercion is acceptable to make someone say "yes"—especially in the context of intimacy and sex.
There are many misconceptions about consent. Some people think it can be valid even if it’s a mix of "yes" and "no," or that compliance equals consent. Some believe consent can be assumed based on someone's position of power. These assumptions are where we fail to uphold clear boundaries.
Consent is straightforward and simple: "No" means "no"—nothing more, nothing less. While this may sound cliche, many still struggle to grasp this concept, particularly when power dynamics and relationships are involved.
What The Law Says About Consent: It’s More Than What You Think It Is
The Philippine Commission on Women (PCW) says that consent is "non-negotiable" and that there is no other interpretation of it.
"Tandaan, ang consent ay non-negotiable. Consent na malayang ibinibigay at malinaw. I-respeto ang pag-tanggi dahil ito ay karapatan ng sinuman," PCW captioned in a Facebook post.
In the Philippines, our laws stipulate a strong definition of what consent isn't and when and how it isn't given. According to Republic Act 8353 (RA 8353) or the Anti-Rape Law of 1997, lack of consent is implicitly defined when:
- Force, threat, or intimidation is used;
- The victim is deprived of reason or is unconscious;
- Fraudulent machination or grave abuse of authority is employed;
- The victim is under 12 years of age or is demented.
Even when we talk about consent outside intimacy, the Philippine Civil Code defines consent as one of the essential elements of a valid contract. Consent is considered given when it is:
- Free: Not obtained through violence, intimidation, or undue influence;
- 100% Willingness: Given voluntarily and with full knowledge of the consequences;
- Informed: The person giving consent understands what they are agreeing to.
How Consent Is Applied: It Is Universal
Under RA 8353, consent is a fundamental requirement for all sexual acts, and is universally applicable across all demographics and relationships regardless of sex, gender, race, or even social background. Key points regarding the applicability of consent include:
Universal Requirement: Consent is mandatory for everyone, regardless of:
- Relationship status (strangers, dating, long-term partners, or married couples)
- Gender
- Race
- Social background
Situational Applicability:
- Marital Relationships: Consent is required even between spouses, recognizing that marriage does not imply automatic consent.
- Recurring Encounters: Each sexual act requires new consent, even in established relationships.
- Power Imbalances: Consent must be freely given, not coerced through authority or position.
- Ongoing Nature: Consent can be withdrawn at any time during an encounter.
Legal Recognition:
- The law acknowledges that non-consensual acts can occur in any relationship or social context.
- It protects individual bodily autonomy regardless of social or relationship circumstances.
To clarify: there is no such thing as non-consensual sex or intimacy—it is, unequivocally and without a doubt, rape. Rape is a serious crime punishable by law, regardless of the nature of the relationship between the individuals involved. The notion that rape cannot occur in a loving relationship is a misconception. Rape transcends relationships, circumstances, or power dynamics.
READ MORE: When Is It Considered Rape? Supreme Court Rules No Penetration Needed
The "Urge" To Say Yes Is Not Consent
You are not obligated to say yes to everyone. In the Philippines, social norms like people-pleasing behavior and "utang na loob" (a.k.a. debt of gratitude) often overshadow individual decisions.
Teresa Paula De Luna, in a Philippine Journal, highlighted that consent is a particularly contentious issue in the country due to cultural factors. The pressure to conform to social expectations can lead individuals to agree to requests or demands even when they are uncomfortable or unwilling, driven by a desire to maintain harmony and avoid conflict.
It is indeed a common belief among some Filipinos that being in a relationship—especially a marital one—implies automatic consent for sexual acts. This perspective is reflected in statements like, "Asawa ko naman kasi kaya okay lang," or "We're in a relationship naman hence, automatic may consent."
The concept of "utang na loob" is so strong in the context of kinship and it creates a strong sense of obligation to repay favors or acts of kindness, which can pressure individuals into agreeing to things they do not genuinely consent to. This pressure is exacerbated by prevalent power dynamics and social hierarchies, where individuals may feel compelled to comply with the wishes of those in more authoritative positions.
Therefore, knowing what consent is and what it isn't is crucial. Even the laws back it up. Consent is integral to respecting the rights and autonomy of all individuals involved. Understanding and respecting these boundaries is essential.
