Once upon a time last year, I got obsessed with drag TV shows. My eyes were opened to the sparkling world of talented LGBTQIA+ queens and the political side of the shows. I started favoring them over K-dramas and other English (American or Brit) series lately, and of course, my husband had no choice but to watch them with me. In the course of bingeing past Ru Paul’s Drag Race episodes, he started actively watching and reacting to what they wore or said. Eventually, he started critiquing their runway looks and lip syncs. When I got the chance to watch a drag show live, he almost went with me, but since the ticket price was too high, he simply drove me to the venue even if his foot was hurting. Now if that’s not love, I don’t know what is.
So yes, I’m a “baby bra” drag fan—I found out that it’s the term for very new fans. But one of my greatest achievements so far is getting my hubby to appreciate the art of drag, too. It made me wonder, do other couples have similar experiences? Did they bond over drag TV shows like us or were they more OG fans? I tapped into my social media network and virtually met these lovely couples.
Find out how they bonded over drag and see if it’s something new that you and partner could use to connect with each other, too!
Discovering Drag Together
Bel and EJ, together for 7 years
“My husband and I usually only watch movies and animes together because we have different interests in Netflix shows. One day, I put on Drag Race PH on my friend's recommendation while my husband was playing his PC games. He wasn't wearing his headset, so he could hear everything going on. I would catch him looking at the TV sometimes and even stifle his laughs at the jokes. Three episodes in, my husband got up from his PC and sat next to me and started watching.”
“Now, we watch a lot of drag shows on Netflix together and sometimes he's even more opinionated than I am on who should win or who should go home. He even shouts at the TV when he thinks Ru Paul made the wrong choice during lip sync eliminations! It's fun because we now have more things to bond over outside our usual shows. We've learned a lot about each other by watching drag shows that we would never have talked about otherwise. He's even become more aware of how he dresses (he used to have no fashion sense).”
Found Drag, Thanks to an Algorithm
JV and Pao, together for 10 years
“We're big lovers of the indoors and outdoors—outdoors we're scuba diving buddies, indoors we're cat-dads, and online we're a tank and healer on MMORPGs (WoW and FFXIV). We learned about Drag Race in 2017 through the magic of the YouTube algorithm, which put a highlight reel from RPDR Season 2 Untucked on JV's feed. After watching Season 2, we were hooked, and have watched every season since.”
“Drag was eye-opening for us because it exposed us to a dimension of the LGBT community that we were previously blind to. We loved learning about gay experiences outside of our own and outside of mainstream gay celebrities. I (JV) learned that my husband has the same curiosity and appetite for new things as I do, which we enjoyed exploring together in the world of drag. Nowadays, when we travel, we make it a point to catch local drag shows if possible and get to know the LGBT community better. Locally, we watched Drag Race PH live a few times with the contestant queens, and currently we're keeping up with Canada vs. the World.”
A New Yearly Tradition
Trisha and Raffy, together for 10 years
“My husband and I have a lot of shared hobbies, and one of them is watching shows and movies together. We tend to have different tastes in genres, but when we feel like the other would enjoy the current show we’re watching, we would share it with each other. I’ve been watching RuPaul’s Drag Race since season 4, but it wasn’t until season 9 that we started watching together. Right from the start, he had his bet for the winner (it was Shea Coulee) whereas mine was Sasha Velour. We even watched Sasha’s show here in Manila back in 2018! We would also consume other Drag Race related content like UNHhhh and Trixie Motel, so naturally we were very excited when Drag Race PH was announced!”
“It was fun watching with him because he would make references to previous seasons like, ‘Oh, this is the Alyssa Edwards and Coco Montrese moment,’ and he would also comment about the differences in judging between the franchises. He would even yell at the TV when he feels like the judges got it wrong! All in all, watching Drag Race has taught us a lot not just about ourselves and our gender identities, but also about the experiences of the LGBTQIA+ community both here and abroad. It has also given us the opportunity to meet new people and friends from the community! Watching Drag Race is now a yearly event for us, and one that we will keep enjoying together.”
The Bright Side of the Pandemic
Patricia and Nomer, together for 5 years
“I've been a huge fan of RPDR for about seven years now. I've watched all episodes of all franchises at this point (and their sister shows). Back when I was still working in our office, I used to travel back and forth between Bulacan and Manila regularly, and RPDR has been my stress reliever during those long hours of commuting. When the pandemic hit, RPDR became one of my escapes to keep me sane and connected to the world. After watching RPDR, I've learned to love myself and be confident in who I am, I think that's why I'm so hooked. My partner has always known how big of a fan I am. He used to watch some episodes with me but never really enjoyed it because he is more of a ‘Filipino Drama’ kind of guy. That changed when RPDR had a franchise here in the Philippines.”
“We watched the premiere together and he immediately got hooked, too. We were both rooting for Marina Summers. Since then, he got to know more about how the show works and got interested in watching other franchises, too. He loves Danny Beard from RPDR UK and right now, we're cheering for Ra'jah O'hara for RPDR Canada vs. The World. He's now the one the reminding me when a show has already aired and become available on WOW! Watching RPDR is now one of our bonding moments. We're planning to go watch a drag show here in the PH but since I'm two months postpartum, we have to wait a little bit more before we can go to O-bar to see our local drag queens. So excited!”
Bonding With Each Other and With The Community
Cha and Odan, together for over a year
“We don't do typical bonding activities; instead, we both enjoy trying new things, particularly food and restaurants. My rainbow community friends introduced me to the world of drag, and I first watched Drag Race PH because of them. After a few episodes, I exclaimed to Odan how lovely the show is, how sophisticated the dresses, makeup, and even the production is. He [got interested] because he has a background in production.”
“Then we watched it together, became obsessed with the show, and now we watch Ru Paul's Drag Race and live drag shows. We've even joined a group where we get updates from drag queens. I realized we both have friends in the rainbow community who enjoy watching drag, and as a result, Odan and I got closer, and we got closer to our friends, too.”
A Sweet Surprise
Louise and Karl, together for 5 years
“We love watching anime series together. Our love language is usually trying different foods from places we've never been to before, and getting a massage at a spa. The funny thing is, we were both not [really] fans of drag queens before. I watched some episodes as a kid, [but] my boyfriend had never watched drag shows. He's a nerd who mostly spends his time playing PC games and watching anime. I got into Drag Race PH since I’m an active member of Main Pop Girls (and its sister groups) and I wanted to support local franchise shows. I got hooked with the show to the point where every week, I couldn't wait to watch again.”
“He learned that I like Drag Race PH [because] I couldn't shut up about it after I watched each episode. He says he takes notes on the things I love or my interests. Since we're currently living in Sapang Bato, Angeles City, Pampanga, Klaypel Land in Clark is just walking distance from our home. He learned that the on the grand opening of Klaypel Land, Divine Divas would be one of the performers. [So he] took me on a date. At first, [I was getting bored and wanted to go home, but he said to wait.] Little did I know that this whole time, [he knew that Brigiding, Viñas de Luxe, and Precious Paula Nicole were going to perform]. I was so happy! Best date I ever had!”
Hopped from One Event to the Next
Jam and Ralph, together for 5 years
“We usually eat out, cook different dishes, go on motorcycle rides, and watch Netflix movies. Actually, my sister was the one who influenced me in watching Ru Paul’s Drag Race on Netflix. And so, my fiancé and I started watching Drag Race Philippines on HBO GO. At first, he just sneaked a peek every time I watched it alone. But as a fan, I always talk about drag whenever we are together. So, he became curious about it, and then we became drag buddies!”
“We always wait for Wednesdays and Thursdays for [DRPH] episodes and Untucked. Watching the queens’ runways and performances, as well as listening to their stories and arguments, complete our day. We even went to viewing parties, meet-and-greet opportunities, and special performances from drag queens! And that’s the best bonding times we had. I also learned that he is supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community. He even imagines the hardships a drag queen [has to] endure. So, we really appreciate drag queens!”
An Eye-Opener
Ariane and Julius, together for 7 years
“We normally bond over watching an American sitcom or any popular movie and eating out. But I’m a big fan of Ru Paul’s Drag Race and he knows it. He saw me binge-watch every season. I was raving over the release of RPDR PH and when it came out, I immediately subscribed to Amazon Prime to watch. I asked him to watch with me and surprisingly, he agreed. After the first two episodes, we both got hooked and were waiting for a new episode every week. It became our bonding time. We even took bets on who will win on lip sync for your life!”
“It was an eye-opener, especially for him. He grew up in a neighborhood where being gay was used as a joke, and toxic masculinity was celebrated. He now understands the struggles of being a part of the LGBTQIA+ [community], especially being a drag queen. As for me, I never thought that I’d be attached to them. I almost teared up after every episode! This made us closer for it showed a different side of vulnerability and growth as we discuss what we’ve learned about them and their experiences.”
A New Cause to Support
Wreyn and Frances, together for 3 years
“We’re solid fans of local and international drag. We’ve been to shows, seen all Ru Paul’s Drag Race franchises, and organized fundraisers because of drag. I started watching RPDR in 2017. When I met Frances in 2019, I kept on asking her to watch the US franchise. I can be persuasive, so you bet she started watching almost immediately. After a year, she was able to watch all seasons of RPDR and All Stars! When Drag Race Philippines aired, we were so happy to be exposed to the local drag scene. We started going to drag shows and found a circle we loved being with.”
“We also wanted to help and be more connected with the community, so last Fall, we started Totee Mari. It’s an Instagram shop which sold DRPH tote bags. Proceeds were donated to the Angat Buhay Foundation, Strays Worth Saving, and to Golden Gays Manila. We managed everything from social media, production, packaging, everything. We took a break after three successful batches. Most of our customers were drag fans, too. We discovered a lot of things about each other through being drag fans. I learned that Frances is so fun to attend shows with and she has seen my more creative side. It also brought us closer to each other because we really spend so much time watching and attending shows. Ultimately, it has also brought us closer with the community we love.”
With Drag Den now showing and a new season of Drag Race Philippines coming up, we’re sure a lot more would get hooked by the entertaining queens. We hope that these shows continue to inspire people to support the community and celebrate everyone’s individuality. And we hope to inspire with Ru Paul’s iconic lines at the end of every Drag Race episode, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an Amen?” Amen!
