Eating someone out can be a major turn on, which is why we can understand some people can get carried away and forget what they're doing. Everyone can be guilty of this, regardless of their sexuality or gender identity. Here, 13 women and people with vaginas explain what oral sex givers often do wrong, and the common mistakes they make. So whether you're a straight, cis man, or a queer cunnilingus lover, this one's for you.
P.S. It's very important to remember no two vulvas are the same, and therefore, what works for one won't necessarily work for another. There is no one-size-fits-all rule. At the end of the day, communication, being in tune with a partner's responses and body language, and y'know, just asking them if something feels good is a safe way to proceed.
- "Finding the clit: amazing. Doing everything directly on the clit or too hard right in it: not so amazing." [via]
- "I've had to tell way too many men, even more experienced ones, that the clit is very sensitive so they need to treat it gently. Going hard on it does not feel good. Pulling back the hood and going hard feels even worse. My ex would randomly do it anyway because it made my legs twitch, even after I'd told him a thousand times that I don't like that." [via]
- "I think the biggest one I've experienced is when I tried to say that he shouldn't do something, or that I like this instead of that. He just continued and said, 'I know what I'm doing.' Suuuuuure." [via]
- "I blame porn for a lot but especially teaching men that 'Don’t stop' means 'Change everything you are doing' or 'Stop completely'. It makes me angry when you're starting to orgasm from penetration and then they just pull out and backs away (I’m assuming so they can film it). If a partner stops right when I am reaching the end, the potential for the whole works to be ruined is very high!" [via]
- "The one thing I hate that just turns it all off is a POINTY TONGUE. Like, using the tip of it instead of flattening it out. Then if I'm close and I say that, it means 'Do everything the exact same'. But they always want to switch it up and then I am no longer close." [via]
- "I don’t like it when the guy is trying too many moves at the same time, for example, eating me out while fingering my pussy AND also trying to finger my ass. Too much going on doesn’t feel pleasurable." [via]
- "Every cis man I have been intimate with has done oral and digital manipulation too quickly. The one trans guy I dated for a couple months was THE BEST at it. He did everything soooooo slowly and made me ache for it so I was pretty much fucking him. So dudes: SLOW DOWN!" [via]
- "When I say I can't handle xyz, please stop doing xyz. It effing hurts and now I'm not in the mood. Not one man had clearly understood this line in the clit-sand and therefore, it has never been enjoyable beyond about 30 seconds." [via]
- "Spreading me so wide I feel like I’m going to tear." [via]
- "Stopping the second I begin to orgasm. I want the oral to keep going until I'm finished, or my orgasm stops about half way and what a waste that is." [via]
- "Not taking direction. Also related: thinking they know better than me what I want." [via]
- "Don’t just give each thigh one kiss before going down, I need you to tease me so much that I’m begging you to go down! Because sadly, just immediately going down doesn’t cut it." [via]
- "I had one guy say, 'You have to tell me exactly what to do'. He didn't want to do anything until I told him exactly how I liked it. Well for me, that's different with each person! I gave him my usual preferences and then tried to give him feedback but he kept saying, 'That's not what you said at the start'. That puts SO much pressure on ME! When I am blowing a guy, I watch and listen and change things up based off his feedback but at least I try something first! I told him not to worry about it because it just totally killed the mood. I am happy to help, but you have to put in some effort of your own as well. It felt like he was just expecting me to do all the work, I would have been better off masturbating." [via]
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com/uk. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.
