Is it just me, or is everyone around me getting married lately? Every time I open my social media, someone else is getting engaged, planning a wedding, or starting a family. Honestly, it's a lot of pressure. Since I'm in a long-term relationship myself and have been thinking about the possibility of marriage, I wanted to explore why people are getting married and how I’m choosing to navigate this in my mid-twenties.
At 26 years old, am I too young or too old?
According to the Philippine Statistics Authority, women in the Philippines, on average, get married at 27 years old. You might be thinking, “But if I’m supposed to be married at 27, I should be engaged by 26 and in a relationship long before that.” Relax, you’re not alone.
I thought I was free from peer pressure since I left college ages ago, but it just evolved into pesky relatives asking about your non-existent boyfriend, to friends who are always hinting for you to take the next step with your S.O.
Then there’s social media. With everything so accessible, it’s easy to feel like I’m being surrounded — to the point that I've thought I have to get married immediately, or else mapagiiwanan ako. But the truth is, the idea of marriage is daunting and it can be for anyone. I can admit to being jealous of the next person who gets to wear her big, poofy, wedding dress, but I can’t say that I envy the responsibility that it signifies. I’ve always thought that marriage is only one of the many ways that you can affirm your commitment to your partner, instead of a requirement that an adult woman needs to overcome. There is no age limit and if you’re not ready to get married, then there is no reason to be racing down the aisle.
The challenges of getting married at a young age
I am in a long-term relationship, so my boyfriend and I are looking at marriage as a natural next step since we share a lot of the same goals and values. That being said, we're also realistic about the challenges of marriage, especially when we're still figuring out who we are as individuals and as a couple. Financial stress is a big one — we both have families to support and are still early in our careers, so money is tight. We're also aware that getting married young can mean missing out on other experiences, like traveling or pursuing hobbies and interests. Plus, we've witnessed how tough marriage can be for the best people. It takes hard work and commitment to make it last, and we're not naive about that.
The benefits of getting married at a young age
But on the other hand, there are definitely some advantages to finding “the one” early on. One example is you have more time to build a life together. My boyfriend and I have already been through a lot — moving to new cities, navigating family drama, and supporting each other through tough times. If we met at a later time, we wouldn’t have grown and strengthened our relationship into what it is today. Besides, there's something to look forward to about diving into things together, whether it’s buying our first home or starting our own business. These things are easier when there’s someone you can lean on.
At the end of the day
Ultimately, it's important to trust your instincts and make the decision that's right for you, whether that means getting married young, waiting, or not getting married at all. If you can relate to me, then let me give you some advice. Don't rush into anything just because of societal expectations, or because your parents want grandkids. Take the time to have honest conversations with your partner about your needs and expectations. And know that even if you do decide to get married young, it's okay to take things at your own pace. Marriage is great, but it’s not a necessity — so chill girl, your time will come.
