To say that 2020 has been a Sh*t Year is a bit of an understatement. Many of you have had to cancel plans, weddings, birthday parties, and even the holidays—which is, like, so depressing during a time like this.
But unfortunately, no matter how much you want to go out and celebrate with your friends rn, the pandemic is not over. Skip the big parties and get-togethers. Connect virtually instead! Practice safety protocols and celebrate at home, with the same person you've been quarantining with since March. (2020 really out here testing relationships, LOL.)
There's good news, though: Just because you can’t really leave the house rn doesn’t mean your holiday has to be any less festive. While you can't exactly go partying at bars, you can do some kinky Christmas sh*t with your S.O.
So below, find some, uh, "holiday cheer" and try out these fun, festive tips on your partner. I don't know for sure, but methinks Santa would be proud.
- Decorate an ornament like a penis. NSFW ornaments are a must during the Christmas season.
- Dress up as a Christmas tree. Who doesn’t wanna get poked with pine needles while they’re going to third base?
- Dress up as a snowman. Pretend to melt when things start *heating up* for bonus points.
- Add “Jingle Bells” to your sex playlist. It’s got a great beat to hump along to.
- Candy cane lube. It’s like regular lube, but minty—and makes blow jobs actually tasty.
- Netflix and chill. (That’s when you make out during A Christmas Prince.)
- Bake a cake. Feel free to get creative (and kinky) with the frosting.
- Tie each other up with garland. Fuzzy handcuffs are out; Prickly ones are in.
- Bring in a fruitcake to lick off of each other. Everyone hates them, so it’s not like they’ll be missed.
- Instead of your usual dirty talk, recite the lyrics to “O Holy Night."
- It seems obvious, but get Santa in there. If you’ve been wanting to role play as Santa, now’s your chance.
- Paint each other’s naked bodies festive holiday colors. You’re not going outside anytime soon anyway.
- Decorate the tree with sex toys. Get rid of those old snowman ornaments and hang up your vibrator instead.
- Dress up your partner as a reindeer. Get to ridin’ your red-nose deer.
- Try doing it in sweaters or hoodies. Now you can be warm and horny.
- And last but not least, wrap each other in your favorite gift wrapping paper. A present you don’t need to wait 'til Christmas to open.
***
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.
