Talking about forgiveness can result in mixed emotions—and recalling the issue is often accompanied by feelings of grief, sorrow, or even a sense of betrayal or anger. Your feelings are valid, because it is indeed a difficult moment. Hence, there is a tendency to downplay forgiveness, solely because we sometimes feel that it is a charity we give to others who "don't deserve it."
Contrary to the belief that forgiveness is a generous act towards others, Maxene Magalona has a different take. She views forgiveness as something you owe yourself as a form of self-love.
"Forgiveness is never easy, but it is something that we must give to ourselves and others sincerely and wholeheartedly," Maxene wrote in a reflective caption on Instagram.
"When we get hurt, we hold on to grudges unconsciously because we think that by not forgiving those who wronged us, our pain and suffering will be justified," she added.
Unresolved issues and lingering memories often make forgiveness seem unattainable. Maxene herself is no exception. She admitted that, like many others, she used to be a toxic person who projected anger towards those around her instead of confronting her own issues and insecurities. As she remarked, "I allowed my past to define me."
However, Maxene shared that when she began her healing journey, she had to learn forgiveness the hard way because it did not happen easily. In fact, it started when she learned that the foundation of forgiveness is self-forgiveness.
"This was when I decided to do the work to forgive myself completely for everything that I unconsciously put myself through. I sabotaged and disrespected myself by partying nonstop, not getting enough sleep, eating unhealthily, people-pleasing, and staying in toxic relationships," Maxene contemplated.
"When I started to truly forgive myself, I cried and released so much pain. I felt lighter. I was actually wondering why I found it hard to forgive the people who unconsciously hurt me until I realized that it was because I hadn’t done the work to forgive myself first," she continued.
Maxene's journey highlights the importance of self-forgiveness as a crucial step in the broader process of forgiving others. By forgiving ourselves, we can release the burdens of the past, heal from within, and transform our relationships and outlook on life.
