For a third date, I went to a steakhouse with a guy who said it was his treat. "Wow, bagong sweldo," I joked. I ordered a steak dish worth P1,695 after he insisted it was okay because it was for sharing. Including his solo order, a carafe of sangria, and service charge, our bill totaled to around P4,000. He also paid for our drinks at a cocktail bar, which amounted to about P2,000. It was a date that cost at least P6,000. (He also paid for his parking.)
I remember all of this because I messaged the group chat the next day to tell my friends about the date—and how I felt bad about how much it cost. I had the receipts, at least in Messenger form. "Bakit ang mahal?" my friend asked when I recounted how much my order was. "Kasi steak," I replied. I also told them about the date payment scheme the guy and I had agreed on moving forward. "Another rule: hatian or salitan sa bayad."
The rules of dating
There are many rules about dates. The guy should always pay. Split the bill evenly. Do the dance with the bill or at least offer and take out your wallet before "giving in" after fake-insisting. Order what you can pay for. Only pay for your dish. If one person pays for dinner, the other should pay for the drinks or dessert that follows. The one who asks out should be the one who pays.
It's impossible for everyone to agree on the rules of dating—except maybe for this: You should always put your best foot forward on a date. And while that could mean picking up the tab, it definitely means not taking advantage of your date.
This applies to that viral post about an expensive steak dinner date. Here's the TL;DR: A girl anonymously posted on a Facebook page asking if it was normal for a suitor to ask her to pay her share of a P7,000 bill, even though he was the one who asked her out and said it was his treat. The twist? The bill got that high because she admittedly took full advantage of the offer—ordering a medium-rare steak for the first time and even getting food for her dog.
She had me at the first half, I'm not gonna lie. Her date did ask her out. And he did say he was gonna pay. But for something so intimate and emotions-based like a romantic date, doesn't empathy—or even basic human decency—trump logic?
The viral steak date order
"First time makakain ng medium rare na steak kaya inabuso ko na," she flexed. If it was a joke, it wasn't that well done. (Pun intended.) It's never a bragging point to exploit someone. "Di ko akalain aabot ng ganyan yung bill," she continued. I don't think the guy did, either. He even waited till the next day to ask. "Hi, I really enjoyed your company last night. I know this is awkward but can I ask for you part of the payment? Inabot kasi ng 7k yung bill natin," he messaged, acknowledging it wasn't the norm. She texted back, saying, "Ayt akala ko libre mo? [blowing nose emoji]"
In all fairness, there was an oversight on the guy's end. He should've assessed what the most expensive outcome of the date could possibly be before suggesting the place and committing to paying for the date. They could've also agreed on a budget beforehand.
The guy then replied, "Initially oo, pero ang dami mo kasing inorder na pagkain. Nag take out kapa para sa doggy mo." It was a surprise detail—I've never heard of any date guidelines that took fur babies into consideration. She ended her post, asking, "Dapat ko po ba syang hatian sa bills? Or ighost ko na lang? Di ko lang to napagbigyan sa kiss nung hinatid ako biglang nag iba ihip ng hangin e." It was a seemingly passive remark to end a rant with.
The Facebook page admin added an update in the comment section, saying, "For those curious cats, the guy saw this post and sent the official receipt of the dinner on the page. P.S: He also mentioned that they officially stopped dating and the girl never paid a dime." It's worth noting, though, that the guy—or at least, in the moderator's update—didn't respond to the supposedly withheld kiss.
...and the follow-up
After the post went viral, the girl once again messaged the Facebook page, saying (published as is), "I'm gonna be honest, that wasn't the reactions/comments that I was expecting. Nagtatanong lang naman ako kung normal yung ganon since sa ganoong environment ako lumaki." She defends herself saying, "Sa mga nagsasabing PG [patay gutom] or mapagsamantala ako, kung natikman nyo kung gaano kasarap yung kinain namin baka mas malaki pa yung bill nyo kaysa sakin." It sounded like she was deflecting the blame.
But, she continued, "Pareho lang kaming may mali right? Siya nagdala sakin dun and nagpumilit magyaya ng dinner sakin para magpasikat. I can safely say na mayaman sya, tingin ko nabadtrip lang talaga siya kasi di ko napagbigyan sa kiss sa pisnge na hinihingi nya."
Just because someone has the means to pay for something doesn't mean you should make the most out of it. But at the same time, as a girl, I couldn't shake off what she said—feeling like she was asked to pay just because she didn't give the kiss he supposedly asked for. If what she says is true, then isn't the guy taking advantage of the date, too? If he had gotten the kiss, would he still have asked her to pay? Or would the kiss have made the P7,000 worth it?
She ended her second post saying, "So please, konting bawas naman po sana sa harsh comment, nagconfess po ako dito sa page para lang makakuha ng 2nd opinion or insights sa ibang tao. P.S: If you will date me, you'll be also dating my furbaby. Inggit lang kayo kasi sya nakakain na ng steak."
It was an unnecessary postscript. But despite all the online hate she's received, she did bring up a valid point that also deserves some discourse. Yes, it was wrong to take advantage of a free date in the first place. And yes, this entire scenario could've been told without the dripping (and empathy-repelling) snark. But as much as the steak for the furbaby was talked about, how did the denied request for a kiss go so unnoticed?
It also took me a couple of rereads before considering that maybe it was her girl rage speaking after feeling like she was being punished for not giving a guy what he wanted. Women have been put in similar situations—it's not unheard of for a guy to retaliate just because he didn't get what he (allegedly) wanted.
No one can say for sure if he really did ask her to pay out of spite. In all cases, though, paying for the bill doesn't buy anyone the right to a kiss.
My own 6,000-peso steak date ended well, to say the least. (Let's just say he got more than just a kiss on the cheek.) But even if it hadn't, dates should be about shared moments, not debts—whether it's cash or physical affection. It's built on mutual respect, not on how much was spent or what's expected at the end of the night.
