Raise your hand if you've ever ghosted or disappeared on someone without a trace. While it's a default gesture for some people (eep!), leaving someone hanging is *never* the kindest way to turn down a date—especially if they've invested time and effort in getting to know you. It's just horrible for the one on the receiving end, who is often left wondering if they did something wrong.
ALSO READ: Bea Alonzo On Being Ghosted: 'Do not blame yourself'
You know what they say—honesty is the best policy and this concept applies to all relationships, regardless of stage. Plus, we're adults so we should behave like one. They deserve to know how you feel about the connection. Sending them a goodbye text would prevent them from overthinking what happened to you.
We know confrontation is never easy so we did the work for you. If you're looking for the right words to say to someone you don't want to see anymore, check some sample message ideas below. Copy-paste these texts and off you go! Remember that kindness costs zero pesos, and people would appreciate it more if you went the other way with grace.
Kind things to say, instead of ghosting someone:
- "I just wanted to let you know I'm now exclusive with someone. It was nice meeting you!"
- "I believe we're not on the same page rn and this might not work out. I hope you find what you're looking for."
- "It was fun talking to you, but we really don't have that much in common. Good luck."
- "You're great, but I just don't feel romantic chemistry. I wish you the best!"
- "I thought I was ready to date, but it turned out otherwise. I don't wanna move further because I'd hate to waste your time. Good luck, though!"
- "Thanks for dinner! You were great, but I think we're better off as friends."
- "I had a fun time, but I don't think we're compatible long-term. Best of luck to you!"
- "It's been cool getting to know you, but I think we have different priorities. I'm rooting for you from afar!"
- "Thanks for meeting me the other night! It was nice getting to know you, but I'm not really interested in going on another date. Take care!"
- "I have a lot on my plate right now and just need to focus on myself. Thanks for understanding."
More tips on saying goodbye instead of ghosting
- Reaching out is an act of respect toward the other person, and you'll sleep soundly, knowing you didn't lead on your date.
- Keep your goodbye text short and simple. You don't need to defend your decision or elaborately explain your reason.
- We can't control the other person's reaction, so if you need to protect yourself from a possibly negative situation, by all means, block them. You've been honest, so you've done your part. Whatever they do is on them.
