Being in love is an exhilarating feeling—it makes us feel like we’re on cloud nine. Yet, it may also make us blind to toxic behavior and red flags. Sometimes, we often do things out of the intense feeling of love. Sadly, there are moments when it is no longer healthy and ends up making your relationship toxic. Here are some behaviors that you may be unconsciously doing in your relationship and what you can do about them:
READ MORE: Why Healthy Boundaries In Relationships Are Important, Plus How To Set Them
Toxic Behaviors You May Not Realize You're Doing In Relationships
1. Expecting your S.O. to know what you want
Your partner knowing exactly what you want without you saying it makes you ~kilig~, and we get it. It makes us feel like we are seen. However, it is also not wrong for them to NOT know what you want. It does not mean they no longer care about you. Consider different factors. What if they have a lot on their plate? What if they think you changed your mind? What if they genuinely don’t know? The best way is to tell them what you want. You may also throw a tip that it makes you feel special if they take note of your likes in the future!
2. Making your relationship all about you
This may be a little tricky to spot, so here’s the one sign that may tell you if you’re making it all about yourself: You no longer listen to your partner when they talk about their feelings. Sometimes, when we’re too overwhelmed by our frustration and disappointment, it can happen. However, always remember that your partner’s feelings are just as valid as yours. Learn to listen to what they have to say. It is not just you in the relationship. Both of you need to work things out if a challenge comes up.
3. Not setting solid boundaries
One thing that a lot of couples forget to do when starting a relationship is setting up boundaries. Each of us has our own limits that need to be respected and it is important for your partner to know that. Right after entering a relationship, make sure to ask these questions to your S.O.: What are the things that I do that make you sad or upset? What instances will make you feel like I’m invading your privacy? What do you want me to do if you’re angry at me? Answering these questions will give you a guide in handling problems that may come your way.
4. Resorting to silent treatment
Cliche as it may seem, but communication is indeed key. Nothing will happen if you give your partner the silent treatment when you're mad. If you need more time to think, tell them. If you can’t talk to them face-to-face, send them a message through social media. These actions take a few seconds, but it can save your relationship. Your partner won’t know the problem if you don’t say it.
5. Relying too much on your S.O.
We know, having someone that you can talk to and do things with is a good feeling. However, keep an eye out and think if you’re doing too much. Do you do things based on what your partner wants? Do you decide on things based on your partner? If yes, you need to step back. Always remember that you are your own person. Relying too much on your partner may result in losing yourself. Do not make your partner your whole world. Growing together must be your relationship’s goal.
6. Expecting your S.O. to think exactly like you are
It is almost impossible to find someone who thinks and behaves exactly like you. This is because we are all born in different circumstances with various backgrounds and belief systems. Your partner may not agree with you at times and it’s okay. Talk things with them. Learn why they think that way and see if you can arrive at a middle ground. Accept that your partner is another human being with their own way of thinking. That is perfectly normal.
Words by: Kyle Ramiel Dalangin
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This story originally appeared on Candymag.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.
